Author: Brian Dys

Walang akong makitang kahulugan sa apat na sulok ng aking kuwarto. Walang laman kung hindi alikabok at sinag ng umagang araw. Kahit naroroon ako, wala pa ring laman.

Dito ko kailangan simulan muli ang direksyon ng aking buhay. Sa kuwarto na kung saan ako natutong mag-gitara. Sa kuwarto na kung saan ko tinambak ang mga litrato ng buong angkan namin. Sa kuwarto na nakakita ng pagkabasag at pagkabuo ng aking katinuan.

Uumpisahan ko sa pamamagitan ng isang-minutong dasal at sa pagdilat ko ay bago na ang lahat. Parang isang tao na binautismuhan ni Jesus sa kumukulong asupre.

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From Happy Obituary 2005

Malungkot ang mga hapon na tirik ang araw sa itaas at nag-iisa ka sa paligid. Wala kang makakalaro. Lahat sila ay pinatulog ng kanilang tita o tito na masungit. Ako naman, heto, nakatitig sa puno ng Macopa hawak ang laruang eroplano.

Naalala ko na dito rin sa bintanang ito ako nakadungaw noong pinapanood ko ang aking mga pinsan na naglalaro sa ulan. Pinapayagan kasi sila ng tita ko na magtampisaw. Ang nanay ko naman, nasa likuran lang. Pinagalitan niya ako nang magpaalam ako sa kanya na susugod rin ako. Wala na akong nagawa kundi tingnan ang karera ng mga tulo ng tubig sa salamin ng bintana namin.

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From Happy Obituary 2005

Mayroon akong laruang oso dati noong bata pa ako. Ang pangalan niya ay Teddy. Mayroon siyang mga matang mala kayumangging holen. Ang kanyang balahibo ay mala tibong kumikislap na parang ginto sa sinag ng araw. Para na rin siyang nanganak dahil may tahi siya nang pahalang sa tiyan. Hindi man siya akmang nakangiti, isang mainam na kaibigan si Teddy.

Naaalala ko ang araw na ipinamana ko siya sa nakababata kong kapatid na si Benson. Para sa limang taong gulang, nagustuhan niya kaagad ito kahit makati sa braso. Isang umaga, hindi muna kami nag-almusal. Dumiretso kaming dalawa sa bakuran at naglakad-lakad nang walang punto. Si Benson, hindi ko alam kung ano ang kanyang ginagawa noong mga oras na iyon. Naglalakad siya nang nakapikit; ang mukha nakaharap sa sikat ng araw at tila nagbibilang. Dumating siya sa may lupa na mabato at nadapa sabay bangon nang tumatawa lang. Si Teddy, tumilapon sa tae ng pusa. Nilabhan ni Nanay ang laruang oso. Hindi na siya amoy tae kundi amoy kulob. Simula noong araw na iyon, hindi na namin nakita si Teddy.

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From Happy Obituary 2005

I haven’t tried using B&W film again. I think the last time I took pictures with that film was two years ago. I wanted to use Colpan but a friend suggested something with better quality like Kodak.

I haven’t seen Kodak Panchromatic 200 lately. Maybe it was phased out. I’ve visited Quiapo a month ago. I found out that there is only a store left selling black and white darkroom equipments and supplies.

There, they have Kodak Tri-X reload. No Lucky Pan, no Kodak Panchromatic. This film is ASA 400. Since I don’t like grains for most of my pictures, I prefer having Colpan over Kodak. That means, I have to process the film myself.

For a wide variety of choices in B&W films, there is Fuji Digital in Megamall. I might try their films some time but they are expensive.

Last night, we watched Mga Pusang Gala at Glorieta 1. It is about a homosexual and his female neighbor. Both of them having love problems.. and their lovers were compared to stray cats.

The movie was boring.. not to mention inconsistent characters. Watch it for yourself.

I wish I had beautiful butterfly.. and SWF, too. Wait, that’s Flash!

You have a big head and a kind heart, are very tall, confident, single, European, late 30s-40s. Beautiful butterfly, SWF, misses you, wants to embellish your life and make you smile! Source

I’m having all my negatives scanned one by one. I think it’s 50% done. That’s just for the color ones. [Here] are two of the latest scanned negatives (Random #3 and DLSU / Yuchengco Bldg.).

The photos in the gallery are grouped according to the roll of film they belong. Sometimes a set doesn’t have a subject, just random pictures. The frames that I didn’t select goes to the Dump (the thumbnails below the gallery). They don’t have links to larger images.

I had the negatives of my first birthday scanned. It’s funny to see yourself in such age.. where today, you don’t remember a thing you were doing.

On the other hand, looking at these ancient pictures of your families brings longing for those days to liven up. Loved ones are still alive.. smiling, enemies are friends, family ties are close.

It isn’t that much these days.. people have got their own lives to watch over.

I am thinking of giving my niece and nephew a cousin.. and when that day comes, they will have the same family photographs I have.

Lately, I was hooked with Lost. I am already at Season 1, Episode 18. Later, I will post a gallery of close-up shots of eyes.

I posted the latest roll of film I consumed. This was stuck in the camera for over a month, and last week I had the last exposure. I had it processed last night.

Check out the .